Wanting to try a toy together is common. Saying so out loud is the hard part. This guide is about that conversation: when to raise it, what to say, how to handle a “not yet”, and how to make the first try relaxed. For product ideas once you have talked, see twelve sex toys for couples.
When to bring it up
- Choose a relaxed moment, outside the bedroom: a walk, a drive, a quiet evening. Not in the middle of an argument, and not straight after sex, when either of you might hear it as criticism.
- Raise it as curiosity, not a complaint. The aim is to add something, not to fix something.
- Give your partner time. A first reaction is not a final answer.
What to say
- “I read about this and thought it could be fun for us to try together.”
- “Is there anything you have been curious about? I have a few ideas too.”
- “No pressure at all. I would just like to hear what you think.”
Then browse together. Looking at products side by side turns it into a shared decision, and seeing that most toys are small and simple often takes the nervousness away. The two-minute quiz is an easy way to start.
If your partner says no, or not yet
Respect it, and say thank you for listening. Ask, gently, whether it is the idea or the type of toy, because a massage candle or a card game is very different from a vibrator. Some worries are about myths, such as a toy “replacing” a partner; our page on that myth may help. Leave it for a few weeks before coming back to it, and never buy something and spring it on a partner who has said no. If talking about sex feels hard in general, our guide on how to talk about sex with your partner can help.
Easy first toys for couples
- Vibrating rings: worn during sex, they add gentle vibration for both partners.
- App-controlled vibrators and eggs: one partner wears it, the other controls it, from the same room or another city.
- Massage oils and candles: a sensual, low-pressure way to slow down.
- Card games and dice: playful prompts take the pressure off deciding what to do next. See couples sex games.
Keep the first try comfortable
- Start slowly and check in with each other, out loud.
- Use a water-based lubricant for comfort.
- Agree that either of you can pause at any time, and laugh if it is awkward. It usually is the first time.
- Clean toys before and after use. See our cleaning guide.
Explore couples toys and games and gifts. Everything arrives in a plain box with free delivery and cash on delivery across India.
