Short answer: anal toys can be used safely by adults who go slowly, use plenty of lube and choose toys made for anal play with a flared base. They are not only for one gender or orientation, they should not hurt, and starting small matters more than anything else. Nothing without a flared base should go in.
Anal play attracts more myths than almost any other topic, and some of them lead to real injuries. Here are the common ones, with what experts say. It is part of our myths and facts series.
Where the myths come from
Anal play is rarely discussed openly anywhere, and in India it is often treated as a joke or a taboo. What people do hear tends to come from porn, which skips the slow, careful parts entirely. That leaves people unsure what is normal and what is risky.
What is actually true
The ISSM explains that the rectum does not make enough natural lubrication, so plenty of lube is essential. It advises against numbing lubes, because pain is the signal to stop, and recommends starting small and slow, as the anal sphincter takes time to relax. Toys should be designed for anal play, usually silicone, glass or metal, with a flared base so they cannot get stuck, and other objects should never be inserted. If something does get stuck, seek emergency medical care straight away (ISSM on anal sex risks).
The ISSM also recommends condoms and water-based lube to lower the risk of infections, and cleaning anal toys after every use.
Sources: ISSM: Risks of anal sex and how to avoid them.
Five anal toy myths, checked
- “Anal toys are only for men.” People of every gender and orientation enjoy anal play.
- “It is supposed to hurt.” Pain means slow down, add lube or stop.
- “Numbing lube makes it easier.” It hides the signal that tells you to stop.
- “Any object will do.” Only toys with a flared base made for anal play.
- “You do not need to clean it if you used a condom.” Wash every toy after every use anyway.
What to do instead
- Start with the smallest size; our butt plug size guide explains how to choose.
- Use a thick water-based or silicone lube and reapply often.
- Relax and take your time; breathing slowly helps.
- Never go from anus to vagina without washing the toy or changing the condom.
- Read the basics first in our butt plugs for beginners guide.
Beginner plugs and lube in stock
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Curious about beads rather than plugs? Our beginner’s guide on how to use anal beads covers buying, using and cleaning them.
Keep reading
Frequently asked questions
Are anal toys only for men?
No. People of every gender and orientation use them.
Should anal play hurt?
No. Pain is a sign to slow down, add lube or stop. Avoid numbing lubes, which hide that signal.
Which lube is best for anal toys?
A thick water-based lube works with every toy. Silicone lube stays slippery for more time but can affect some silicone toys.
What if a toy gets stuck?
Stay calm and seek emergency medical care straight away. Using only toys with a flared base prevents this.
For adults 21 and over. This page is general information, not medical advice. Every order ships in a plain, unbranded box with free delivery and cash on delivery.